Facebook Reminds Me

Scrolling down my Facebook feed, I saw their picture with a caption: Madly in love <3
I can clearly see how happy those two are. Getting a pre-wedding shoot in Singapore, planning honeymoon in Europe and having those butterflies of excitement and nervousness; all of this would be really amazing. The way Mehul smiles at Saurabh is really #couplegoals.

Ugh…Cut that crap. I hate that shit. I just hate seeing the two of them together.

I press the home button and keep my phone aside. Staring at the ceiling, I travel to the time when I was the one who was madly in love with Mehul. Such an angel she was back then in school. It was 8 years ago and the sight of seeing her for the first time is imprinted in my heart. Carrying the heavy backpack on her shoulders with that ugly school uniform on her, she was playing with her braids when she ran into me.

“ Sorry”, she said in an utterly cute voice.
“It’s okay”, I replied.
She hastily went out of the school gate and looked back twice; each time making me fall for her harder.

I did not know anything about her. The next day, I waited for her near the school gate again. And there she was again, playing with her braids. This time, she saw me from a distance and walked cautiously. While she was crossing me, I called her, “Hey”.

She stopped and looked at me saying, “Yes, bhaiya”.
What the f**k did she just say.
“Hey! Hey! Hey! First, I am not your bhaiya. Second, I find you really beautiful.”
She smiled and ran away taking my heart away.

Well, all of this does not matter. After our 8 years long relationship, she is marrying somebody else. Just like I cannot forget how I fell for her, I cannot ever forget how she dumped me. (Only if words could convey my pain)

It was a day before my birthday. She took me birthday shopping and made plans about the next day which was my birthday. She bought a maroon dress for herself and a black shirt for me. We reserved a table at the Copper Chimney as well. It was really a great day with her when I could see somebody so excited about my birthday. I was expecting her to be the first one to wish me at 12:00 a.m. but she did not call. I was angry, really angry. Then I thought she would be with her family or maybe she was tired so she slept but still how could she. After shushing my thoughts, I slept at 2:30 a.m.

To my surprise, she did not call in the morning too. When I called on her number, it was unavailable and I called one of her friends but she did not answer it. At 3:00 p.m. I went to Copper Chimney, hoping that she would be there waiting for me with my birthday cake in that maroon dress. When I reached, I could only see a waiter greeting me. I waited for 3 hours during which I called her millions of time. My world was coming to an end. I was clueless about what to do. My hands went cold and my heart sank with every passing moment. I got up and accelerated my car to the fastest speed. I pressed the brake outside her home and saw her in her balcony with her mom.

My heart was relieved to see her fine. Maybe her parents would have found out about me, I thought. I blowed the horn and she looked at me with an emotionless face. But seeing her made my day. To avoid any problem, I came back home. Unfortunately, my birthday did not turn out to be like I planned with Mehul. I stared at my phone in hope that she called but she did not. So I slept while waiting for her call.
My phone finally rang at 10 o’clock in the morning but that was not Mehul but her friend, Arpita.
“Hey Pranav”
“Hey Arpita”
“Mehul called me yesterday to inform you something.”
I rubbed my eyes and sat attentively.
“ She got engaged yesterday.”
What? Did she just say engaged? But with whom? How? I could not hear any of her words after that horrifying sentence.
“Pranav, are you there?” she asked in a higher pitch.
“Yes, Arpita. I am here.”
“Are you okay?”
“Well, I am fine. But you know we were dating from past 8 years, right.”
“I know. I don’t know what happened all of a sudden. I am sorry Pranav. Please let me know if I can do something for you.”
“Thanks Arpita. I would like to be alone now.”
Before she could reply, I disconnected.

I cried. I cried like a baby that day. My heart broke into bits and all I could do was scream. The thoughts of ending my life haunted me every night. But something in me kept me going. I had an amazing family and true friends who made my life better. My mom helped me get over the first love of my life. I stopped going out and all I did was watch Netflix and lay uselessly around the house. But it had to end, so I took short trips to shopping malls, street markets, our factory and sometime the society parks.

After a few days of shutting out people, I finally went out with my boy gang. We boozed and talked about girls when suddenly one of them showed me Mehul’s engagement picture.

“Dude, look Saurabh got engaged with Mehul.”

I shattered at that very moment when I looked their grinning faces. I was over Mehul already. But what I never expected was to see my best friend cheat on me with my girlfriend. I left the bar that very moment and rushed to home. I locked my door and got the sleeping pills out of my drawer that were lying there since Mehul left. That day, I finally gulped the entire bottle and drank the entire bottle of water; half of which spilled over my t-shirt.

The next day I was in hospital with my parents and friends around me. I was lost. I lost my faith in love and friendship forever. It got me one month to get out of that depressed zone. Mehul and Saurabh have not talked to me ever since.

I cannot even find Mehul on Facebook, probably because she has blocked me. But I can see Saurabh’s pictures and I like them sometimes so that he knows that I see them having fun. Maybe one day he comes to me and explains me why he chose to hurt me when I could never hurt him in my dreams.

I wish Saurabh and Mehul to have an amazing life but for once tell me what was my fault. While you were writing your fairy-tale, somebody else was going through a horrifying phase. But don’t worry, I survived and with your frequent PDAs I am trying to become stronger.

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